GLORIOUS NATION OF THE REPUBLIC OF RUSSIA

One of my first Omegle pranks, and my best (so far). Kinda long, but it's worth it.

Omegle conversation log 2010-02-02
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: asehole?
You: or how you amamricans say
You: asl it is i think
Stranger: asshole???? r u english
Stranger: oooooohhhhh
Stranger: sorrry lol!
You: yes asehole
You: m/17/ru
Stranger: f/20/usa
Stranger: ru?? where is that?
You: GLORIOUS NATION OF THE REPUBLIC OF RUSSIA
You: RUssia
You: ?
Stranger: OMG I WANT TO LEARN RUSSIAN!!!
You: yes many "hot" "chicks" like "russies" i hear
Stranger: lol well, russians are pretty much the bomb.com
You: My cousin lices in us of a
You: his name is Roman
You: My brother in usa also, he is "Niko".
Stranger: Niko? they use that name for grand theft auto videogames
You: really?
Stranger: hahaha yea
You: My mother does not lett mee play vidoe gamess
Stranger: actually i believe there is a character named Roman too
You: she says that is it bad for the brain
You: like cancer
Stranger: oh i'm sorry, my rents didn't let me either, i just went to a lot of friends houses
Stranger: tell her that vgames in moderation won't hurt
You: "wtf"(?) i went too bomb.com and my cat just pooped on my nouse
You: concidense
You: ?
Stranger: "bomb,com" is an expression
Stranger: means russians are pretty cool
You: plus now there is a virus on my compitr i tihnk
Stranger: im soo sorry
You: oooohasaAHAH you mean "com" as in comraddes?
Stranger: pretty much yea
You: DO NOT WORRY, RUSSIA COMPUTER SHIT VIRUS OUT LIKE BEANS ON WHEELS
You: We run " Postroknik 97" on our pcs
You: Its' rip-off of Windows, I think
Stranger: beans on wheels??? i've heard of beans on toast before but not that lol
You: It russian expression
You: like you amearicans say "hotter than hell"? or some such
Stranger: hahah yes
You: But i call Postroknik 97 peeples and they slap me through telephone somehow. I still not sure
You: it wasnt reallt a slap more like shock
Stranger: yeah, i get you. i hate calling those things
You: They tell me to eat goats.
Stranger: they give you the run around a lot
You: (WE HATE GOATS IN RUSSIA(
You: On Christmas we burn a goat and then trough it into rivr that how mouch we hat goat
Stranger: whoa, what did goats do to russia??
You: You hear of black plaugle?
You: plauge
Stranger: yeah but the plague was spread through rats
Stranger: well the bugs on rats i should say
You: WelL, we have somesuch and it was "Hairy PLauge" It transmattes trou teh lice on goats pubic hairs
You: it was awful
Stranger: i bet
You: Noone ever talks about it taht probably why you never hear it
You: You don't belive me?
Stranger: i havent heard of it so i shouldnt judge
Stranger: but then again the only thing i know about russia is princess anastasia...
You: peolpe on hear are strange
Stranger: yeah that's a common factor
You: i connect one time and someone say "YOU WANT HAVE SEX F ONLY OR I DISCONNECT"
You: i not good to much in english so i still not understand
Stranger: lol well, ppl want to reproduce, but i don't see that happening through a computer screen
Stranger: your not that bead, actually
Stranger: **bad
You: i sa y momma look ast my good English and then she hit me with pickles rabbit ass.
You: delicacy in russia
You: cost 6,000, rupies
Stranger: rupies? slang for rubles?
You: no no is pell rong
You: sorry
Stranger: thats ok, i got the meaning
You: my keyboard ist sotr of brrrookeen
You: see
You: i call Postroknik 97 people s and like i said they tell me to eat goat and then zap me
You: the wont fix ma key board
Stranger: wish i could help, but i don't know anythin about computers
You: ahahah rupies is india currency no?
Stranger: umm maybe? lol
Stranger: i'm not sure
You: any way "Pickled Rabbit Ass" is delicacy in RUssia
You: cost $ 76 american dollars for one ass
Stranger: oh wow...
You: but most people can only affourd one cheeck
You: Want recipe?
You: My mums special
Stranger: haha, i'm not really a rabbit eater
Stranger: but thank you anyway
You: SORRY :-(
Stranger: that's ok
You: We ijst got computer in 2 months ago
You: i still not used to it
Stranger: isn't there a store warranty??
Stranger: you just take it back to the store and they should fix it?
You: i tell you unbeleiveable story
Stranger: lol ok
You: we liev in siberia which is like us alaska
You: but in russia
You: and worse
Stranger: frozen tundra
You: and we only have telephone and sometimes we have to wait 2 hour to use it because Old Man Voldstock use it all time to call
You: because there is only one line in hole village
Stranger: then you're lucky today, right?
You: and i say "mom we needs a computer" and she says "no"
You: and very next day computer in box in front of house.
Stranger: did your dad order one?
You: i hink it fell out of plane in the midnight
Stranger: lol, if it fell out of a plane i don't think it would have been usable now lol
You: I heard a loud jet and then this THUMP
Stranger: well then who knows?
You: No, you see it "frozen tundra"like u say
You: there so much snow it was like pillow
Stranger: lol, yeah ok, i get it now hahah
You: I said "MOTHER A COMPUTER FROM THE HEAVENS" and my cat pooped again when oi said it
You: i think mt cat is sick
Stranger: or you shouldnt feed it so much
You: i swear it grew 3 feet longer in last
You: year
Stranger: how old is it?
You: 5 year
You: it hasn't grown since it was 2
Stranger: huh, weird events
You: yes, now we must feed it with shovel.
You: I afraid it eat me one day one day i cane hoem from the salt mine and it was looking at me
You: but like it was LLOOKING at me like
You: uuhh
Stranger: if i cat blinks very slowly at you, it means it loves you...
You: "stare" you say?
Stranger: yes, welll i dont know what it means when it stares at you, but maybe u should carry protection?
You: from my cat
You: YES GOOD IDEA
You: MY MOTHER HAVE REVOLVER IN OVEN SHE HIDE IT THERE FOR EMEGERNCEY
Stranger: lol, if you have something like tabasco sauce they say animals hate it bc it burns them
You: its staring at me again
You: do u have a cat
Stranger: ummm idk about the gun, u might hurt yourself with it
Stranger: nope, i have a german shepherd, dog
You: we use to have a dog but our cat ate it
You: it was only chuahu tho
Stranger: pretty small dogs
You: it was bound to freeeze to death
You: anyway
Stranger: your should get a huskie or any of the shepherd dogs
You: my cat is orange and it has these black stripes on it's back
You: and it have huge paws
You: and teeth like telephone pole
Stranger: im guessing its either a tabby or you have a mini tiger
You: it must be 200 lbs
You: its "staring' and i think it might be drooling
Your conversational partner has disconnected.